Another fun filled day with the bipolar. Woke up two hours late. The bus station wasn’t as bad as normal. No one asked me for money or cigarettes. That was a pleasant change of pace.
Riding the bus, is a hard thing to do in Tampa. This city’s mass transit is way lacking. It takes me an hour and a half to go the four miles to work. I miss my car. Well, I miss my cars. I’ve had 3 in the last two years. Won two of them playing three card poker.
Easy come easy go.
No major panic attacks today. That was a plus. I had two much caffeine, I think. I’ve been using the massive amount of caffeine that I take in to counteract the Seroquel and Klonopin, but I think that my bodies adjusted to the drugs over the years. Now it just makes me get a case of the ants in the pants as I’m told.
Didn’t steal much today, just one Mountain Dew from the break room. That’s a start in the right direction. The thievery was getting a bit out of hand. One of my signs of getting a bit manicy. It’s been a helluva lot worse in the past.
I’m looking forward to my appointment with the psych doc next week. First time I’ve seen a psych doc outside of an inpatient stint in, what two years. I think I need the Seroquel dialed down and the Klonopin boosted up. Pretty sure that the Zoloft is having a paradoxical effect. I’ve been really depressed. Not suicidal depressed but finding no happiness in anything depressed. I’m worthless at work.
Haven’t gambled in over a month. That’s a start. I do have the lifetime ban at the Hard Rock, but there’s still the horse and dog track. I had a moment of wanting to go there this weekend but vegged out on the Xbox all weekend.
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